does it need a title

self sabotage, selfish safe, sacred space

overindulgence to blame

nature detaching from our skin

guilty co2, life force of evolution

how do we tame it

define the art through the other side of the glass

cages nurturing the remnants of us

beauty through steel bars

combine with the grass, the dirt

oh wait

give it purpose

such power, such life

nothing to fix

no reason at all,

the end of nothing awaits

a bowl of trail mix

emotion toss

just life in its own ecstasy,

selfish experience that we gave meaning to

creators of life,

creators of magic,

creators of destruction,

creators of sadness,

all energy tide, we are the purpose

existing through space and time,

human beings

oh I SCREAM!!!!!!

to the powerhouse of life

forever a sinner

it was written in the stars

what an honor

and it starts like this

a baby born carrier of nothing finds paradigm in the constant of wax and wane

between each new shriek a cry, a collapse of buildup, there is always the softness of the wind

ambassador

silence through the ripples of the unending praise a zenful blow, sincerely

painful paradox please protect

a glow from the essence of change crawling in through the iris of passing eyes

will it ever be the same, would we ever understand the past from here

puzzle pieced trauma

microscoped task

engineered performance of big hands above us

i have no doubt about us, i love you

live how you must to survive

it’s a new timeline, a mere reflection of immortality, a reminder an embrace

embrace of enemy,

tossing it’s handkerchief of antimony

i believe in the human race, i will not lose this race

i am love, i am forever loved by the cosmic father and mother matter

but i still want to wake up to your face, from our past life

i want to stare into your eyes and find the endless pulse of life

i’m afraid they have changed

i’m afraid my reflection is starting to reflect the strongest eyes i have yet to meet

i am angry, i am sad.

i want to crawl back into my mother’s womb

i want to run away to sweden with everyone i love and dissociate into love

i know in the end there is an opposite to make the endless meet

but i can still find passion within every etch that begs me to go numb

i will never abandon myself.

i will never abandon you.

i am love

and i am here for you

i am only human but i know, i have tasted i have felt i have smelled what holds us together

blood, bones, flesh, spirit, organic material made of cosmic matter, all beginnings of the unpredicted

i still find peace in the middle of my dreams

praise for life in between all disease

the wind has come

closet dissonance

you’ll forget to turn the light on

don’t forget to turn the light on

write me a letter in the closet of ur room

chatter on the back of my neck

nostalgic feel of heavy rain

so vividly awaiting, the then

clear as blue skies, there is no fear

staring at peoples faces,

faces just like ours,

hair like yours

bubbling above the ethereal plane

little memories whisper at the back of my neck

back of my pocket, cloves of gingko leaf

destroy me through her, new skies no fear

i feel fine, i feel so lazy

lazy stride above cemented side walks

crispy year, crispy one year

recycling it’s energy through chills

2019

forever loved

forever loved

777

i have listened repeatedly

i listened so carefully

i haven’t seen you in a while

your face, the expression of your body

your heart reaching towards me

i can feel it too

i remember the first time i watched you, this beautiful stranger perform and i couldn’t hold my cry, now here i am consumed by the whole of you

past tense, past life, you are so much

scribbled into the soft of my hands, you are a part of me

i wonder how you are, i wonder if it feels right

i am lost in your words

i asked and you showed me

i don’t know how to get to you in this haze of ocean tide

on the moon, just you and i

see me for the knowing of my soul, exchanged with only love

i reflect you, pieces they fall into

take my hand the way you used to

i see you, i can see you

i missed you so much

there are those arms i’ve gotten used to

the smell of your neck, the warmth

i missed you

your hair looks different now,

so does mine

we left them behind

old baggage feeding the flames

your face so delicate, the way i last left it

you are divine

i want to scream

i’ve tucked these in for too long, so long

please hold my cheek

show me this is real

spinning, spinning,

erase my memory,

an instant combustion

we have never left

my brain is crackling

malfunction of reality,

to fall back into dream

keep me here forever

glowing green numbers have always matched yours

i’ll share history’s eyes with you forever

555

Ropes pressing me still

Tied against the coldness of my skin

Warmth teetering down from the creases of my mouth

Blink

Awareness

My hair is wet against my back still

What have we done

The wooden chair under my thighs

Soft wet wood pressing me in one

I didn’t think you would find your way

I remember meeting you between the floating of our arms against the sky

I never believed you were whole enough to wake up in this world

I turned you on towards me, shaped you into the size of my palm

Scrabbled anxious toes dancing between the veil of dimensions

Silently pressing my chin against the back of your chest

I was too lost

Liquid gold smeared all over my bed

We, too lost to understand

I fed you prudently

Now the colors bursting from our lamps

breathing particles of every color splatter against the shine of our eyes

Heavy breathing

Naked purity of each our own

Liquid gold leaking from your chest

Bare wide eyed we looked into each other

Your curls were soaked in the colors of this dream

Orbing flash of hues resting on our skin

Liquid gold running down my legs

Big eyes looking back into each others

Do you remember

We were equally aligned

Lost in between worlds, of yours and mine

Carry me I said

What have we done

Cold wet wood pressed against my skin

I can still feel your half combine with mine

We shared my dream, in between

When will you come back to let me go

Pressed against I could just erupt

Lost within the process of my mind

Close my eyes back into that night with arms dangling towards the sky

Between dimensions of parallel existence

Where have you gone

Liquid gold pulsing past the sky

f1e2l2p1y9 and s2n1e5l2p0y

join your knuckles in with mine

i haven’t seen you in too long, so well with rusting time

i can feel the trim sleeves of your favorite plaid shirt

soften to dust underneath the static of my lucid choke

do you still remember how to get there?

pressed cotton on the brown of your wooden floors

glowing green numbers now mismatched against yours

red walls staring us whole, reciting a hum of a whole that once was

still buzzing from the space between us,

you know so well that feeling of “I feel it too”

I see your words scattering down past your eyes in powder blue

cutting the chord kept you in

backwards name pressed on my clumsy chin

tattered attempt to forget you

sake, in the end I almost let you

you know your cross is heavy heavy on my eyes

i know your sake is building building our demise

the shadow of your arms scaling up up up

don’t make me your enemy baby, it’s making me forget your name

and i don’t know how to replace you into words

you used them all

madness

Screeching praise of oblivion

The chiming of a phobic Melody,

burn to soot eyed romantically,

Fractured monocle

Blink through my lens of misty poise,

Taste of dirt, earth of color and noise,

The words I use inside my head

Fight me with your sweet and mushy fluff,

Morphing collateral, my constant snuff,

the crinkle of my mirrored backscatter

so softly singing for my muzzled gag,

euphoric stretch of a empty drag,

Sonorous hush

—–/————– I ————–/——

Biography of old lovers,

Experiments of token love,

stuttering my whole, I slip into my self

in my dreams I saw you,

Man like you, beside you, illusionary friend

in my dreams I saw,

sanctuary self, bathed in salt water

Blurred beneath my skin,

Reflection of a phobic melody,

Old burned cassette dancing romantically,

———————— II —————————

Self proclaimed synchronicity discovered by the soul barf of my poetry

Arcadian

To be faced in the eyes of the lover I’ve never met,

There you are, stained on the limbs of my lucid body, on the tip of every edge.

You’re only a colossal of streams, of dreams I have only seen.

you always look the same, I keep you etched onto the back of my hands.

Spinning so softly on this bed of astral plane, you are always the same.

I’ve made you up in several lines, stretching, pulling, peeling.

you see me and it’s so hard to understand you, I’m grounded in a wakened state.

To make you up, I’ve known you so long.

I’ve traveled across the sea, lost myself in city streets just to meet you, you see.

I know the day I meet you, everything in me will shatter, I’ve known you my whole existence and every time before.

You are my severed half, and your within me all the same.

I sleep with my back faced towards the sky

A sword strapped to my side, a warrior must never die

I greed myself a selfish love,

I’ve kept it stitched onto the seems of my bones

Because the echo of my darkness scoffs in timid groans

I slid my fingers across the dancing beam of light,

it shadowed my whole room.

A nostalgia of pulsing red, transfixed in heavy womb.

In darkness, I am blind but now everything’s a mess.

With liquid gold swallowing me whole, now I must confess.

My shadows screeching words to see, pretending to be me.

This light, I’ve seen it many times before but never breathed onto me.

If every sound to meaning, I sit in quiet spell.

I’m sorry to be so greedy but I’ve taught myself too well.

And I understand your meaning,

but it’s hard for me to speak.

My voice is almost there but it stumbled on your cheek.

Electric drip of sunlight, pouring on my skin

Smear your color gold on me, a marking I must win.

Let me hum you my favorite words, close your eyes and let me breathe.

I have much more to share with you, a whisper shared with teethe.

I know my hands are heavy but these promises, I cross my heart to keep.

A taste of liquid gold,

A reflection, ten times fold.

There is no find of golden leaf

the berry thorns, bleeding soft keens

sweetly dripping nectarine

with dirty toes and purple knees

fluffy grass staining worn feet

yelping birds and doleful fleas

tinted fingertips feeding stained teeth

careens of wind dancing with trees

a hymn of infinitude to make ends meet

messy opus spilling on the cheek of leaves.